- Birth of your children
- Selection of an appropriate college for your children
- Decision of and for a child to enter the military
- Death of a parent
- Purchase or sale of a home
For each of these, do you leave the decisions entirely to
- Your doctor?
- The college bursar?
- You?
- All your siblings?
- Your lender?
In each and every one of these (and more) circumstances, you consult outside sources to help you with these critical decisions. And so it is with a divorce.
Most people when contemplating, starting the process or even going through the process of divorce rely entirely and exclusively on their law firm for all the advice that they need or that they think they need. Sure, we rely on friends to get us through the process. But let's be frank. Rarely does a friend tell us anything other than what it is that we want to hear during this tumultuous process.
One might ask, and therefore assume that one's lawyer, will lead us through the process, navigate the deep and treacherous waters, look out for our welfare (and the most dangerous and most often incorrect assumption), will know everything about our personal life and situation in order to make the right decisions for us.
Let me be direct and frank. Many and perhaps even most lawyers will try and do all these things. However, if you have limited assets (less than $1,000,000) it is highly likely that you will be assigned a junior lawyer at the firm. Yes, you may well have a partner overlooking your case and assisting your attorney. But, yours is not the only case that that lawyer has. If in fact, you do have a junior attorney assigned to you, and your case ends up going more than a year a half, (which in many cases certainly will), it is VERY possible that your attorney will leave the firm in the middle of your case. That happened to me and to my ex-spouse (twice). You then have the unenviable task of either following your lawyer, which might on the surface seem like a good idea or have your case moved to another lawyer. Why would following your lawyer not be an optimal choice? Your lawyer moved to another firm probably for more money and therefore more responsibility. It is possible and probably likely that you will NOT be getting the level of attention that you were used to (and for which you were paying mightily for the priviledge). Think about it. If you went to a new job, you have a whole level or new responsibilities. Bringing "old work" with you is just going to add to your challenges.
So what is the point of this? Your lawyer does not know every detail of your life, nor what is most important to you (which may well change over time during the divorce process.) Yes, your lawyer should and will represent you during the legal process, BUT it is YOUR responsibility to be able to look into the future and determine EVERYTHING that might be important to you and your family and ENSURE that the custody, asset distribution and alimony documents (depending on your state) reflect everything that you need them to.
Here is the problem. It is highly unlikely that you will have any chance to anticipate everything that you need to when negotiating the terms of the agreement. You need someone who has been through the process to guide you through the process.
A divorce consultant is NOT a substitute for legal counsel. A good divorce consultant will not try to get in between you and your legal counsel. A good divorce consultant needs to be someone you can trust with the details of your divorce, as well understanding your goals. A good divorce consultant, as well as a good lawyer need to help you to understand that the best divorce agreement is the one where both parties are unhappy. Why do I say that? Because you will NEVER get everything you want. A good divorce consultant will tell you NOT what you want to hear, but that which reflects reality and likely outcomes.
Remember, once you have decided to divorce, the divorce process is now by and large a BUSINESS negotiation. Nothin more. A good divorce consultant can help you to begin to remove the emotional constraints that you will inevitably be experiencing. An investment in a good divorce consultant will save you money, perhaps a lot of money. Clients will very often "bond" with their attorneys. This can become a very expensive proposition.
If you live in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Peoria or anywhere in the general Phoenix area, we can help. We will help you learn how to manage your communications with your lawyer to reduce your legal expenses. We will help you to understand your finances (if by chance you were the marriage partner that did not manage the bills). We will help you to prioritize your goals of the divorce process (For example, if you the husband, it is CRITICAL that you stay active in your children's lives. Your idea of what might work in terms of visitation for a teenage, may not be appropriate for a young child.) Both parents need to look into the future and be able to craft their agreements to deal with uncertainty. That is in many states, loss of job is usually grounds to get an alimony decree modified but it may well NOT result in modification of future college expenese.
I will be happy to meet with you discreetly for a free initial consultation.
If you need help, do not procrastinate. If you are approaching a negotiation, arbitration or court appearance and need help immediately, we can help.
I guarantee you that life will get better as you get through this difficult part of your life.
Valley Divorce Consultants
39813 N. Wisdom Way
Anthem, Arizona 85086
240-994-3340
So what is the point of this? Your lawyer does not know every detail of your life, nor what is most important to you (which may well change over time during the divorce process.) Yes, your lawyer should and will represent you during the legal process, BUT it is YOUR responsibility to be able to look into the future and determine EVERYTHING that might be important to you and your family and ENSURE that the custody, asset distribution and alimony documents (depending on your state) reflect everything that you need them to.
Here is the problem. It is highly unlikely that you will have any chance to anticipate everything that you need to when negotiating the terms of the agreement. You need someone who has been through the process to guide you through the process.
A divorce consultant is NOT a substitute for legal counsel. A good divorce consultant will not try to get in between you and your legal counsel. A good divorce consultant needs to be someone you can trust with the details of your divorce, as well understanding your goals. A good divorce consultant, as well as a good lawyer need to help you to understand that the best divorce agreement is the one where both parties are unhappy. Why do I say that? Because you will NEVER get everything you want. A good divorce consultant will tell you NOT what you want to hear, but that which reflects reality and likely outcomes.
Remember, once you have decided to divorce, the divorce process is now by and large a BUSINESS negotiation. Nothin more. A good divorce consultant can help you to begin to remove the emotional constraints that you will inevitably be experiencing. An investment in a good divorce consultant will save you money, perhaps a lot of money. Clients will very often "bond" with their attorneys. This can become a very expensive proposition.
If you live in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Peoria or anywhere in the general Phoenix area, we can help. We will help you learn how to manage your communications with your lawyer to reduce your legal expenses. We will help you to understand your finances (if by chance you were the marriage partner that did not manage the bills). We will help you to prioritize your goals of the divorce process (For example, if you the husband, it is CRITICAL that you stay active in your children's lives. Your idea of what might work in terms of visitation for a teenage, may not be appropriate for a young child.) Both parents need to look into the future and be able to craft their agreements to deal with uncertainty. That is in many states, loss of job is usually grounds to get an alimony decree modified but it may well NOT result in modification of future college expenese.
I will be happy to meet with you discreetly for a free initial consultation.
If you need help, do not procrastinate. If you are approaching a negotiation, arbitration or court appearance and need help immediately, we can help.
I guarantee you that life will get better as you get through this difficult part of your life.
Valley Divorce Consultants
39813 N. Wisdom Way
Anthem, Arizona 85086
240-994-3340
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