Know Your Finances

Most states require financial statements to be submitted as part of the divorce process. In most households, one person usually handles the finances. If you are the one who is not handling the finances, then you need to embark on a crash course in understanding your finances.

Note that when considering finances, there are two broad categories to consider, assets and liabilities, for one, and then also income.

As always, you need to know and follow the laws of your state that you reside in and/or are going to file in. As always consult with your attorney,  but generally speaking, there is no expectation of privacy in a household. That is, you can go look at your spouses computer and any financial paperwork in the house. Note that the same can be done to you. Get your computer password protected AND have it checked to make sure that nefarious software like keyboard loggers are not resident. Better yet, if you have a laptop only, keep it locked in your car when you are not using it.

Determine all the assets and liabilities

If you can talk to your spouse about this, do that first. Find out about all the assets and liabilities that you own together AND that you own separately.

• Sit down and make a list from memory of everything that you can think of that you own together (financial assets) as well as liabilities.
• Make copies of EVER piece of financial information you can find.
• Get and access every online account you have individually and jointly. This applies to investment accounts, credit card bills, utility bills .... everything. Download every statment available.
• If you are joint on any of those accounts and the password changes, then call the company back and get it changed again or if possible get your own access to that account.
• Make copies of all deeds to real estate, car vehicles, ... basically every piece of information with respect to assets and liabilities that is in the house or that you have access to.
• Make copies of your spouses credit reports.

Isolate your portion of the maritial financial assets

• This one is critical to discuss with your lawyer first, but you must take every step possible to isolate your legal portion of shared financial assets. That is, you don't want your spouse to pull your portion of assets and dispose of the assets. What you can legally do varies greatly from state to state. Some states would allow you to withdraw your portion of the assets and deposit them with the court. You must at least however be aware of what assets are there and what the balances were at any point in time.

Use the internet

• There is a lot (probably too much) of private financial information on the internet; property tax records, legal judgment records, home purchase records, etc. Do you homework.

Get your  own accounts

• Get your own checking and savings accounts. Have your own pay checks deposited to your own account. Do this immediately once you have decided to divorce regardless of whether any filings have occurred. In many states, a filing can not even occur until after a set period of time of physical separation has occurred.

• Start logging all your finances in Quicken or something similar. You will HAVE to come up with something like this for the divorce proceedings. Keep the receipts to document the numbers you are claiming.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF FINANCIALS

• Especially if your children are young, you must get the crystal ball out and determine what kind of expenses you are going to have in the future. Many people underestimate this and find themselves in a bind later. This can include costs for vacations, college expenses, etc. Remember that once your kids get into middle and high school, they are going to have activities that cost money; sports, band, etc.

• If you are on the receiving end of alimony, REMEMBER, there is no guarantee that your ex's financial situation may change resulting in reduction or elimination of alimony. P:LAN AHEAD.

As with all aspects of divorce, and divorce planning, financial issues play a role of critical importance. Many or most people going through a divorce are dealing with emotional stresses that make it nearly impossible to deal with these issues effectively. Find a friend or a confidant if you have to, but don't ignore issues such as this. You and your children could suffer the consequences for many many years.